Our First ‘Family of 5’ Getaway

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Last weekend we went on our first ‘family of 5’ getaway (just us!) down to Margaret River. Hubby surprised me by booking ‘a weekend of fun and relaxation’ for Mother’s Day… I’m thinking there must be a second weekend coming up where he’s just booked the ‘relaxation’ part for me though 😋

In the days leading up to the trip, I wrote my list of packing essentials, did the last minute washing of anything that we needed to take and started piling up a few things ready to pack. The plan for the Friday morning was to throw the bags (& half the house) into the car and be on the road in time for the twins to have their morning nap on the way down. Sounding pretty organised for a little weekend getaway right..? Well as you know, nothing goes quite to plan when you throw kids into the mix. So instead of the relaxed morning that I had planned, the kid’s plans were to be hyped up and going crazy (Isaac), to be clingy and unsettled every time we tried to put her down (Evie), and to adventurously explore everything whilst getting hurt in the process (Noah). Needless to say, there ended up being the usual stress-fuelled spouse disagreements over why certain things weren’t done earlier, we ended up getting on the road later than planned, and there was silence (on my part) for the first 15 minutes, as I sat there bitterly thinking it would have been easier if we’d just stayed home.

The trip then turned a corner when both of the twins fell asleep and Isaac settled into asking his 50,000 ‘why?’ questions. Just as I started to relax, thinking that things were going to plan and the twins would sleep until we got halfway and could stop for lunch, Isaac decided it would be an appropriate time to belt out the ‘Bob the Builder’ theme song. This resulted in the twins waking after only 30 minutes, becoming unsettled and wanting feeds earlier than planned *cue first pit stop*. We got back on the road (surprisingly still heading towards Margaret River) and I received a text message from my beautiful sister telling me that she’d booked me a relaxation massage for the next day and to enjoy our weekend away – her timing couldn’t have been more perfect! After a great lunch stop with some seagull chasing, a play on the playground and some truck watching, we finally arrived at the resort (a 2.5 hour journey stretched to 5 hours) and got settled in. While Adam fed the twins their dinner, Isaac and I put on our gumboots and went searching for some puddles. We then had dinner in (some amazing local Fish & Chips) and called it a day.. well after the usual toddler bedtime fiasco 🙈

The next day couldn’t have started any better! We fed the twins their breakfast and then headed out for our own breakfast. Everything went smoothly from finding a great café with enough highchairs for the twins (big win!), great food / coffee, Isaac behaving like an angel, and the twins being easily entertained. We then went on a drive to a few places, with a playground break and chocolate stop getting us through until we ended up back at the resort, where all the kids had a sleep while I snuck out and enjoyed the most amazing relaxation massage ever!! (So lucky!!) I floated back home and once the kids woke up we all went out for a walk and early dinner. It was our first dinner outing with just us and the kids and.. it was hard work! Isaac was not interested in sitting in his chair (nothing could distract him) and the twins weren’t too happy either. We certainly learnt our limits, but we didn’t let it ruin the fantastic day we’d had. We went back to the resort, got the kids into bed, and I organised our clothes for the next day and packed up most of our things to ease the pain of the morning checkout. Adam and I then sat and relaxed on the lounge together and enjoyed having no dishes to do or house to tidy (another win!).

Sunday morning went relatively smooth again with Adam packing up the car whilst I entertained the kids. We checked out and set off on our drive to the Yallingup Shearing Shed, via a coffee and bakery stop. We had been looking forward to the Shearing Shed all weekend as this was our biggest treat for Isaac and we were excited for him to see and do something special. It did not disappoint, and he had a great time feeding and petting sheep and watching the shearing and sheepdog shows. We stopped in Dunsborough for a picnic lunch and then made the journey home. Once again, the car ride didn’t quite go to plan with out of sync naps, more stops than planned, and that last 20-odd minutes where everyone is a bit fed up and just wants to get home, but it wasn’t anything a bit of a sing-a-long couldn’t fix!

All in all, we had a great time! We got ourselves out of the house and got to take the kids (especially our eldest) out for some fun adventures. We got to test what works for us (breakfasts for now, no dinners out) and we were reminded of the beautiful place we live and how lucky we are to have our family of 5! On the car ride down Mr 3yo said to us ‘I love you so much, I love having you in my team’ and that’s what we are, a great big team of 5 who love doing life together!

For those travelling with young kids (especially a 2yo and 9mo twins), I’ve included my survival tips below:

  • Pack plenty of wipes
  • Bring extra clothes for messy activities
  • Plan but also be flexible
  • ABC – Avocados, Bananas & Cereal – makes feeding the twins whilst out & about so much easier (hubby did the banana part :P)
  • Pack some toys to entertain the kids whilst out or just whilst back at your accommodation
  • Always allow extra time for travel
  • Don’t forget sleeping bags, blankies, music etc for making bedtime as easy as possible
  • Enjoy making memories!

Almost there!

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When the twins were born, I set myself a goal of breastfeeding them for 12 months. From the moment we got home from hospital, the countdown was on… 1 week down, 51 to go… 2 weeks down, 50 to go… My Mum, who I was incredibly lucky to have supporting me, would just shake her head and spur me on, bringing me another cup of nursing tea and a lactation cookie. The first 10 weeks of feeding, pumping & giving expressed top up bottles were really hard. Eventually things got easier & now it just seems like a simple thing to be putting one on and then the next, like a production line.

This past week however, has really tested me. The twins have both been a bit off with either a cold or teething and they’ve both been waking multiple times before 11pm and then again during the night (which is not unusual). My wonderful husband / their excellent Daddy goes in to them first, but the outcome is the same, they’re not going to settle without a feed…

Last night both twins were crying out at 11:15pm and my hubby brought Evie down to me saying that she just really wanted a feed. After responding in my exhausted state saying, ‘I’m so over the feeding’, I took Evie (who immediately dropped her head into feeding position 😂) & fed her while Adam went to get Noah so I could feed him too. As I was sitting there in the dark feeding the twins I kept thinking about the need for me to always ‘come to the rescue’ with feeding them and I couldn’t help but feel a bit deflated (pardon the pun 😋). As I was going back to sleep, I then started thinking back to those first few months of starting the countdown & I thought, I’m almost there! I’ve come this far and I’m almost there!

As I woke to my 3 beautiful kids this morning and I fed the twins with their beaming smiles, I was reminded how incredibly lucky I am to have 3 beautiful babies (not that I really need much reminding, but smiling babies and their older brother greeting me with ‘how are you beautiful Mummy?’ helps 🙊), and to have been able to breastfeed them all. In just over 2 months time I will have reached my goal and I will have satisfied my desire to give my babies the start in life that I have worked hard to give them. I’m almost there!

‘Mum guilt’ is good

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I define ‘Mum guilt’ as a Mum’s own judgement of herself (through questioning and doubting) and her own sense of regret and disappointment in her choice of actions, due to the expectations she has placed on herself, in comparing herself to others.

In my experience, ‘Mum guilt’ starts from the moment you conceive your first miracle. It starts with the constant questioning and self-doubt over whether your body is healthy enough to grow a baby – ‘Should I have eaten that for lunch?’, ‘Should I have exercised more before getting pregnant?’, ‘Am I gaining too much weight?… Or not enough?’ It is also present when making choices about where and how you choose to give birth – ‘I have a fear of hospitals, but I also want to ensure my baby and I are in the best care possible’, ‘I have been advised to have an epidural, but should I be trying to go completely natural?’

Once you have given birth to your little of bundle of joy there is a whole new set of things to question and doubt. You might find that you have issues with attachment when it comes to breastfeeding or you can’t get your baby to settle. You’re exhausted and the questioning starts again,  ‘What am I doing wrong?’, ‘Am I cut out for this?’, ‘If I put my baby in the nursery does that make me a failure?’ (It doesn’t by the way).

As your baby grows and develops there are the concerns over feeding – ‘Are they getting enough?’, ‘Are they gaining enough weight?’, ‘Am I eating a balanced diet? (If you have time to eat at all, you’re doing great!)’ There’s the pressure of reaching key milestones and if your bub is not reaching them then you begin to question, ‘What am I doing or not doing to cause this?’, ‘Why is my sister’s or friend’s or cousin’s old work colleague’s baby walking and mine isn’t?’ Don’t get me started on the ‘Mum guilt’ over sleeping and sleeping arrangements…

There might be guilt over going back to work and childcare options. Over leaving your baby (whether for work or pleasure), and then extra guilt because you enjoyed your break away from them. It will creep up when you’re disciplining your child/ children or you snap at them because you’re tired of being asked the same question 50,000 times, or you’re just tired full-stop. Then when you give birth to your next baby (or in my case babies :-P) it multiplies. There’s the guilt over how you split your time and attention. ‘Am I showing each one of my children how much I love them, and that I love them all equally?’ ‘Am I taking as many photos of number 2 (or 3) as I did of number 1?’ ‘Is the TV on too much?’ I could go on, but I think I’ve made my point… ‘Mum guilt’ comes in lots of different forms and it doesn’t end.

The good news is… ‘Mum guilt’ is good! ‘Mum guilt’ means that you care. And you care very deeply about the little human(s) that you have created. It means you want the absolute best for them (even if you feel you can’t give it to them all the time). It shows that you’re always striving to be the best Mum that you can be.

To me, ‘Mum guilt’ is my constant motivation. It is what gets me out of bed in the mornings, to feed, clothe and care for my babies. It is what pushed me to breastfeed my firstborn for 13 months and to breastfeed my twins for almost the same length of time. It is what drives me to cook nice meals for my family, to clean the floors (when I can’t stand to look at them anymore), to do the washing, etc. It is what inspires me to be a better Mum to my 3 babies each day.

So the next time you feel the ‘Mum guilt’ creep in (like now because you’re reading this & not doing x, y, z for your babies), please remember the following:

  1. You are not alone – All of us feel some form of ‘Mum guilt’ from time to time (and some of us more frequently than others)
  2. Embrace it! The fact that you feel this way shows how much you care for your child / children
  3. There is no such thing as the Perfect Mum
  4. You can’t take care of others without caring for yourself… without burning out or feeling so far from the true version of yourself, so take some time out for yourself – forget the housework, put your feet up, read the blog posts 🙂
  5. If you ever feel like ‘Mum guilt’ is getting on top of you, it is really important to talk to your partner, a family member, a friend or to reach out to a support group
  6. You are incredible!


Motherhood Musings for Mother’s Day

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As we approach Mother’s Day and my first Mother’s Day as a mother of 3 (it still blows my mind), I felt it fitting to share my own thoughts on Motherhood. Motherhood (and parenthood) changes EVERYTHING.. From something as simple as a trip to the bathroom, to your body, to the way you view life – nothing is the same. I don’t remember what my thoughts were heading into motherhood (I blame baby brain for that one), but I know that whatever I was thinking, I was way off the mark. It doesn’t matter what anyone tells you, nothing can prepare you for the highs and lows of motherhood.

Upon becoming a mum for the first time I felt like I had to learn how to do most things all over again. The simple task of going to the supermarket became so much more. It became an outing, a break (if going alone), a complex task requiring a shopping list (or else it would be a failed mission.. oops!) and so much focus that I could no longer register what anyone else was doing or even wearing. Heading out with bub was another level, from finding something to wear that was breastfeeding friendly, to packing a bag containing everything but the kitchen sink, to planning around naps and meal times – a mission that sometimes seemed all too much, and meant home visits were highly encouraged.

To add to this, conversations changed.. they were no longer about work, spontaneous trips, nights out or holiday plans, but about feeding, weight gains (the baby’s..), milestones, and sleep (or lack of). Achievements changed and were no longer about a good performance rating at work, or finding a great pair of shoes on sale, but instead about getting more than 3 hours of sleep in a row (woohoo!), or getting out of the house, or what milestones our baby was achieving (as their achievements become your achievements and often mean so much more). Relationships changed too. Relationships (especially with family) strengthened as we looked for support and appreciated those who were excited for us and showered our new bundle of joy with love and attention. New relationships formed as you were connected with other Mum’s in similar situations to you. And on the flip side, some relationships dwindled as you suddenly had less in common, or different priorities. Our relationship as husband and wife has grown (and continues to grow) so much as we navigate through the challenges of parenthood and strive to communicate and work as a team.

Motherhood has given me a new feeling, like a fire has been lit inside me with the love I have for my 3 babies, that grows with every joyful moment and that gets me through the harder times. I now have 3 babies that are constantly in my thoughts – who needs a nappy change, who needs to be fed next, who needs a mummy cuddle, who needs a story read to them, who needs to go down for a sleep, who needs to be taken to an appointment, who is out of my line of vision (and getting into who knows what).. I now have different priorities with a family that I will always put first. I now have baby brain that doesn’t seem to be fading. I now have a purpose in life that I had never known before.

After almost 3 years into my journey of motherhood, and as the fog of having newborn twins slowly lifts, I realise more and more how much I have changed on my journey as a Mum. I am so grateful for my 3 babies and for the lessons they have and will continue to teach me. I have more confidence now, than I did when I first entered motherhood, to make decisions (although don’t ask me what we should have for dinner), to know my strengths, and to know my weaknesses (at least I’m getting there!). I have more clarity on what I value, what I want for myself (more sleep :P), and what I want for my family. I know that I have so many years ahead of me and many more experiences to have, and I look forward to continuing to grow on my journey of motherhood as I watch my babies grow.

Mother