Motherhood changes friendships.
Whilst there can be a lot of emphasis on finding our tribe & connections with our mum friends, the reality is that motherhood can both strengthen and create new friendships, and create distance and cause friendships to end.
Motherhood really tests our friendships.
It tests for strength, compromise, compassion, trust, support, patience, quality, honesty, understanding, objectivity, love, resilience, loyalty, equality, heart, soul, & more.
Motherhood creates barriers.
Barriers of sleep deprivation, rollercoaster hormones, isolation, overwhelm, judgement, expectations, time, presence, parenting styles and choices, comparison, exhaustion, loss of identity, etc… All of which can affect our friendships.
Motherhood creates opportunities.
The opportunity to connect with our friends on a deeper level when we trust & share openly,
to let go of some friendships,
to rekindle old friendships,
to create new friendships,
to bond over something entirely new,
to learn a new approach or a new way of looking at things,
to reassess priorities,
to make changes.
As mothers (and fathers), we are changed from the moment we are blessed with the title.
We are different.
So, how can we expect everything else to remain the same?
It is not unusual for our relationships to be affected.
How can they not be when we are not the same?
When we are navigating our way through all the changes & the ups & downs of parenthood,
rediscovering ourselves & trying to find our new ‘normal’ when the goal posts keep changing with each milestone or each precious addition to the family, not to mention other pressures of work, finances, health, etc.
We are not alone when a friendship is tested, or lost.
We are not alone when we feel like we don’t have a ‘tribe’.
We are not alone when we feel like we no longer fit in with our circle.
We are not alone when we find it difficult to make new friends.
Motherhood changes our friendships, but it also creates many opportunities.
We can decide what we need.
We can decide what our priorities are.
We can decide when it’s time to make changes.
We can decide how we are going to show up.
We can decide what we are worthy of.
And only we can make the changes that are right for us.
Here’s to our mum friends (including our wonderful friends without their own children)
To our friendships that have weathered the storms,
To our friendships that have taught us a lot,
To our new friendships just beginning,
To our friendships yet to be sparked 💛