Perspective

This week I’ve been a bit in my head about how present I’ve been with the kids in terms of playtime & outings / activities, versus how much I’ve been trying to get bits done around the house, doing some work on my business, reorganising finances, talking on the phone etc.

I was questioning myself & engaging in a bit of negative self talk, & then this morning I shared how I was feeling with my bestie & my hubby.
It was the best thing I could have done as they both gave me another perspective, & pulled me out of the guilt ridden space that I had created for myself.

This morning I’d forgotten all about the fact that the twins had been sick this week & I couldn’t take them out of the house, or that the kids were all exhausted so they needed some rest time at home, or the things I have played & books I’ve read (albeit not as much as I would normally like), or that I am allowed to have goals, & that it is great that the kids have time to entertain themselves & create their own fun.
Then as I spoke to my bestie & we spoke about what we remember about growing up, & she reminded me of all the things I tell her that we’ve done on the weekends as a family;
& then I spoke to hubby & he reminded me that I do play with the kids & do lots of different things with them & that I am still my own person with things I want to achieve (whether around the house or for the family or for my business); I was able to look at things more clearly & get out of the space I was in.

Now I’m sharing this today to remind us all to never underestimate the power of sharing.
We are never alone.
There is always someone who is going through the same things, or who is willing to listen, or who can give us the pep talk we need & remind us of what we are not hearing over all the fog in our heads.

There is always someone who can help in any situation.
We just have to be willing to open up & to share.

The next time you find yourself stuck in your head, try saying things out loud to your partner, your friends or your family. You might be surprised by how they can support you, & you’ll wish you’d spoken up sooner.

Sending love to all the parents out there & to those who support us xxx


Intuitive Reiki Energy Healing and Reading Sessions with Embarked with Simone in Atwell, South of Perth Western Australia

Savouring

The act of savouring appears to be a lost art for so many of us.

What do I mean by savouring?

The pure joy within when we truly drink something in. When we give it our full focus & attention without a single distraction. When we feel it with all of our senses. When there is no room in our hearts or minds for anything else in that moment.

When was the last time you truly savoured something?

That bath

That book

That cup of tea or coffee

That sunset

That conversation

That embrace

That chocolate

That walk or run

That song

That bunch of flowers

That view…

We’ve become so focused on this need to be doing all the time, & doing so much, that we’ve forgotten how to savour.

We’ve become so attached to being connected & plugged in that we aren’t switching off enough.

We’re not savouring the little things, that really aren’t so little at all.

Give yourself the gift of savouring.

Make time to sit quietly with that coffee. Feel the warmth of the cup. Breathe in the strong aromas. Notice the marks being made on the cup with every enjoyable sip.

Run that relaxing bath. Notice the softness of your skin as the warm water washes over it. Enjoy the quiet calm without reaching for the distracting phone. Soak in the smells of soap suds or oils or candles burning.

Really absorb that cuddle. Feel the points at which you both connect, soft t-shirts, or their little arms around your neck. Notice the smells of washed hair, perfumes, fresh breath or sweets consumed. Spy each little freckle on scrunched up noses.

Savour.

It’s so important that we remember this simple art, & that we practice regularly so as not to forget. For in savouring, we can find joy & inner peace from the smallest of things, that really aren’t so small at all 💛


Us

Yesterday, we had a whole day of just us 💛

We were so grateful to have my wonderful in-laws offer to have the kids for the day so that we could finish building the kids main Christmas present, & to clean & sort the house for Christmas dinner tomorrow night, to prep for events after Christmas & finish some shopping etc.

With a big list of things to do, I decided that we’d make the most of our time together & start the day (once hubby dropped the kids off) with a walk on the beach & breakfast. I couldn’t tell you when the last time we’d done that was, but to be out in the sunshine together, without rushing to an event or to be doing anything but enjoying each other’s company was amazing!

It gave us such a boost, & we just had such a great day (& so productive!!), despite the rest of the day being ‘chores’ that we were given uninterrupted time & space to do 💛

If you can make the time / create the space over the Christmas holidays to do something together, in day light hours, I highly recommend it! Even if it’s just as simple as a 30min walk while the kids stay back with the family at the holiday accommodation if that suits your plans 💖

Becoming parents for the first time changes your relationship. Really changes it.

When you add a beautiful child into your relationship, the love you have for each other changes as you witness each other become parents & grow into your new roles. There are new milestones that bring a new level of excitement & more to celebrate. You are amazed at what you have created together & you grin when you say things like, ‘the three of us will be at Christmas lunch’ 💛

Whilst becoming parents brings a new level of love, & lots of positivity, it also brings extra tensions & challenges to your relationship. When you bring a bundle of joy into the world that needs your full attention, creates sleep deprivation / general exhaustion, needs so much of your time, changes your roles in the house, adds new financial costs changes your communication – ‘can you go & get a nappy for me, can you hold baby while I do this, have they had a feed, what time did they wake, are they due for another sleep, do they need a nappy change? etc. new pressures are added to your relationship.

Things then continue to evolve and there are new challenges (as well as joys) as your baby gets older & you decide what sort of parenting style you want to have, how you want the household to run, and then adding extra babies (twins in our case), changes things even more as all of the above doubles or triples.

As parents, you have to work harder to make time for each other, to communicate better, to check in on each other. To apologise when times are stressful & you both get snappy, to listen, to compromise. You have to put extra effort in to create the lightness & laughter that existed in the days of less responsibility, to make the effort to show your appreciation & affection.

Now it’s not all doom & gloom 🙈 but it’s important to note the changes & challenges, & to know that we all experience them in some way or another.

It’s also so important to go those extra miles. To communicate openly. To make time for each other. To spend time together, separately, & altogether as a family.

When the kids are all grown up & leave the nest, we’ll want to remember what it’s like to just be the two of us & to remember each other ❤️


Losing Patience

Tonight I lost my patience.

When the usual bedtime antics went on longer than I could handle, with having had a testing few weeks, having done a full day plus the dinner and bedtime routine solo, and having things on my mind that I wanted to get done (for the kids) once the kids went to sleep… I reached my limit with Mr 4, because he’d reached his limit and I couldn’t calm him down and we both ended up having meltdowns together…

Once we’d both calmed down, we said our good nights and I left the room.

I sat on the lounge and collected my thoughts, and after a quiet moment, I went back into his bedroom, climbed up onto his bunk bed, and we talked about what happened as I cuddled him to sleep.

I wasn’t proud of my behaviour, but I know it doesn’t define me as a parent, just as I know his meltdowns don’t define him as a child.

We all have emotions and sometimes they can become too much. We see it in toddlers all the time, and it’s okay for them to see it in us too (*provided no one is getting hurt).

After I left for the second time, I decided I wanted to share my imperfect moment, and that I would share the below words that I wrote a few months back (but haven’t yet shared) that help me through my tough parenting moments to help others through theirs 💛

. . .

Don’t be too hard on yourself, motherhood is a tough gig.

There are days when we all lose our patience. It is important to learn from these moments. Teach your children about feelings and what your feelings are evoking inside of you. Teach them about self care and needing space.

Take the opportunity to learn about yourself. Learn about the strengths you have and the things you need to improve. Learn about what calms you, but also what your trigger points are, and what your children’s trigger points are.

Be gentle with yourself.

Everyday is a new day filled with endless opportunities for self improvement.

These years will fly.

There is so much to learn and teach.

Have patience with yourself in the moments that you feel all patience is lost.

Take time to breathe and take stock. Whether that may be immediately after or later when the kids are tucked up in bed.

Life is full of opportunities for reflection.

Reflect often and if something isn’t working for you, then you are always free to alter your path.

Being gentle with yourself is key 💛

We are all energy.

There will be certain things or people or events that don’t gel with our energy & cause us to lose our patience, or become frustrated, angry, overwhelmed or upset.

These moments are inevitable. There is no one whose energy is unaffected by all other energy forms that exist in this world.

You are not alone.

What will help is recognising the energies that that do not connect with your own, or your trigger points, and learning how to best handle the situations.

Look inside to see what you can do to enhance the positivity in the situation.

Remember to focus on the internal and not too much on the external. All can be resolved from within 💛

By Simone

12.03.2018


Clean the cleaner

I was all ready to write a post yesterday morning on how it had been a big week which started with doing the wonderful Reiki 2 course with Angel Light Heart and Soul Healing, going through & growing through lots of emotions, giving & supporting people through my Mandala Painting Workshop & Reiki sessions, then having the shock of my sister & her beautiful family involved in a freak accident & delaying their start to their round the country trip again (thankfully all escaping major injuries), loving & caring for my family (including one sick child), & then getting sick myself as well… I had acknowledged that it had been a big week, and had planned things I wanted to write, but as the theme has seemed to be this week, plans are never set in stone… My big week clearly wasn’t yet done, as I added an extra cherry on top, ending up with a little health scare yesterday afternoon (because my family needs the extra stress 😬), & so I’m now sharing something that perhaps others need to hear as well.

I’ve had this recurring thought for a while now, that stems from a dishwasher advertisement of all things 🙊, that asks, ‘who cleans the cleaner!?’ I think of it often in relation to those who support other people (i.e. parents, carers, support workers, people who hold space for others in whatever capacity, etc) & I think, ‘who cares for the carer!?’ Whilst I’ve had this thought multiple times, I guess I haven’t gone much further than that… until now!

During the week I had someone close to me ask, ‘if you do this for others, then who’s looking after you?’ Then yesterday my beautiful friend posted something so poignant about being kind to ourselves when we’re always giving kindness to others, followed by a phone call about recent events, & we both agreed that we are now giving so much more of ourselves in our new spaces of work (that we both love so much), & that we really need to do more for ourselves & to look after ourselves as a result. Finally, as I laid in bed with my hand on my heart last night, I got images of a teddy bear (giving a big bear hug) & a droopy rose (in need of some nuturing) impressed on my mind, & I thought to myself, ‘I’m getting the msg loud & clear now!!’

So when I’m up to it, I will be scheduling in some extra & regular time for me. Because whilst I’ve done a lot of work on myself this year, it’s been a few months since I’ve had someone do some work on me, & I know that a regular massage, reiki, or meditation, etc will do wonders & will help keep me balanced so that I can continue giving myself in ways that I am so passionate about ❤️

So if you find yourself in a similar position, & you’re giving a lot of yourself, but not making time to receive, then let this be your reminder to ‘clean the cleaner’ & look after you! Let’s not just make it a once off. Let’s put something regular into place, & if you need someone to hold you accountable, then send me a message & let me know your plans & I can check in every now & then to see how you’re sticking to them 😊

It’s so important to make space for ourselves, to have the power to say no to somethings, & the power to say yes when people offer help (which I’m so incredibly grateful for all the offers of grocery shops, etc that I’ve received over the last couple of days 😍😍)

Have a great week! ❤️


Balance & boundaries

Life is all about setting boundaries to create balance. It is also about recognising when we need to set those boundaries, and when we are out of balance. For me, I would love to paint at every spare moment that I have (around looking after our 3 little ones), but I know that some of my time needs to be spent managing the house and other things. I also know that, whilst I love my painting time, if I spend too much time painting and not enough of my time writing and in quiet reflection then things can also get on top of me. With so many moving parts, it is a constant work in progress to get things in balance.

Balance and boundaries are especially important when we are parents and have so many demands on us. I know that in a busy house with 3 little ones, it can be really hard to have time to myself, or just some quiet time, and so it is up to me to set boundaries to create that quiet time. Creating boundaries with our children also encourages them to learn patience, understanding and gratitude (and is definitely a work in progress). We also need to set boundaries with our families and friends, we need to set boundaries with our work and other commitments, and we need to set boundaries with our partners.

Setting these boundaries helps us to create balance. For example, it helps with creating a balance between time with the family, time with our partners, and time with ourselves. Whilst it can be incredibly hard to achieve, and some days might be easier than others, what can make it easier is knowing what quality time looks like with our families, partners, and ourselves. By knowing what quality time looks like, we can then make better decisions around how we spend our time, and can gain greater satisfaction from using that time to better serve us. Communicating with our partners and kids on the boundaries we want to create is also key.

We also need to take the pressure off ourselves. We don’t have to do everything, and we don’t have to achieve it all alone. It is okay to ask for help when we need it. Sometimes we might need to take a break from something to make room or give extra attention to something else.  When we feel we are spiralling and overwhelmed, the best solution is often to take a break and regroup. Whilst we might think we are ‘wasting time’ when we stop, this is not the case for when we take breaks, we are coming back with greater energy, greater focus and clarity, and often greater motivation.

If you’re recognising that you’re out of balance, speak up and ask for the help you need to create the space for you to restore balance, and be gentle with yourself.