With the flow

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The irony behind this post is that every time I started to write it I was interrupted & it took multiple attempts to get in the flow of writing it 🙊

Rather than fight it, I laughed at the irony & how it was further highlighting that life isn’t always smooth sailing, that we can’t control what will come up for us, but we can control how we choose to react.

Rather than fighting the interruptions, I chose to accept that my post just didn’t need to be written in that moment (or 5 moments) & that it could wait. Just like that, I was choosing to go with the flow, rather than push when I didn’t need to push, which is something that we are challenged with so often.

When asked recently how I manage being a work at home Mum with the kids, & after really reflecting on what I do, I realised that I generally go with the flow. I try not to force or plan my work too much (besides my client appts & workshop schedule) so that I’m not getting frustrated or flustered when things aren’t going according to my work plan while I have the kids at home, and I am operating from a feeling of flow rather than force. If the kids all nap then I make a decision on how I will use the time I have, or if the twins are entertaining each other then I will choose some things to do while they are playing, etc. I do what works for me in the time that I have, and I absolutely love what I do & the opportunity that I have to work flexibly. I have learnt that things like painting while the kids nap does not always work for me as I want to continue when they wake, & end up feeling like I’m fighting to do my painting which is not how I want it to be, so I wait until the nights or when hubby is home.

Becoming a mother quickly showed me just how little control we have over things, & I am continually being reminded of this each day. Whether it’s kids choosing not to sleep when we want them to, or sleeping longer when we don’t want them to, or needing to use the bathroom just as we’re rushing out the door, or unfortunately falling ill etc, they’re teaching us that things don’t always go to plan. We can do our best to make plans and to get organised, but we can’t control the actions or reactions of others, especially our little ones, we can only control how we choose to act & react.

Over the years I’ve learnt how much better it feels to go with the flow (with my experiences of the opposite, that still occur) with many a pyjama day had at home to avoid forcing when I didn’t feel it called for it. I’ve learnt how good it feels to stop forcing things that aren’t in alignment such as work, relationships, expectations, etc, all while still being a work in progress. There are still times that I will find myself forcing rather than flowing, and times when I feel like I am swimming against the current, but rather than continuing to push & force, I find myself questioning & making adjustments when I can.

When was the last time you felt like you were going with the flow, rather than swimming up stream, or against the current?

When you were at ease and trusting, not pushing or forcing?

What is something that you feel is out of alignment and that you are fighting against?

What adjustments can you make? 💛

The Rock

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You are the rock,
Solid and stable
You are the rock,
Strong and able
You are the rock,
Brave and bold
You are the rock,
Power you hold

But should you be left unprotected for long,
Is there not a chance, you will get weathered and worn?

How are you preserving yourself?
What protection mechanisms do you have in place?

If you’re like me, and you are the rock in your family, and your relationship, and your work, or one of these or any other area of your life, this is your reminder that you still need protection. You still need some sheltering or nurturing, for too much weathering of storms can lead to erosion.

How are you looking after yourself to prevent the wearing out or burning out that comes with being the rock in all aspect of your life for a long period of time?
Is that how you really want to show up?
Who can you or do you turn to for protection? For the occasional sheltering from the elements?

We can only be the rock for so long.
It is not failing to ask for help or support,
To need a break from being the rock all the time.
Taking time to nurture yourself, will only empower you to stand stronger and to weather the storms when those time arise.

How can you or do you create some space for yourself to have that much needed reprieve?

I’d love to know if this resonates with you 💛

Adding Value

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Over the weekend hubby & I watched a couple of documentaries, & one of those was on the minimalist lifestyle. It offered great perspective & gave lots of food for thought, but one thing that really resonated with me was the idea that we bring all these ‘things’ into our life without questioning them, & whether they’re adding value to our lives or not.

What I loved about this idea, & this simplicity in questioning, is that it doesn’t just stop at material ‘things’, it can be applied to just about anything in our lives, from the food we eat, the relationships we keep, the thoughts we have, etc.

Over the past week, I’ve found myself questioning how I use my time on my phone on social media for example. I’m questioning, why I’m picking up my phone or pressing the home button to light up the screen?
What is it that I’m seeking from it?
What do I feel is lacking?
Is all my time on social media adding value to my life?
Where does the value lie?
I’m asking these questions, not because I see no value, as this is not the case, but rather to question the value vs the time spent so that I can be more purposeful with my time.

Today, these thoughts extended to my email accounts. I took a quick look through my emails & questioned what value they were adding to my life?
Do I need to receive multiple emails a week (sometimes a day) full of all these ‘things’ that I don’t need right now & wont be buying? When for me, I know that I will do my research when it comes time to buy something.
Are all these emails just adding to my list of things to do (cleaning out the inbox) & creating clutter in my online space?
Needless to say, I’ve now unsubscribed from over 20 mailing lists, & will continue this as different emails come through.

These are just a couple of examples where I’m choosing to question how things are adding value so that I am more in alignment with my purpose & where & how I want to be expending my energy.

What is something that you’ve never thought to question in your life?
Why you have it?
Why you use it?
Why you need it?
Why you give away your energy to it?

And what are some things that really add value to your life?

Getting out with twins

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A big part of the Multiple Birth Awareness Week theme for this year around ‘Sharing the Journey’, is about joining a community or group to build a support network. personally, is something that I found quite difficult to do with a 2yo & newborn twins initially, & so I want to share a bit of my story in support of others who may be feeling the same.

In those first few months, I spent a large chunk of my time on the lounge (or in bed at night) feeding the twins. A process which took at least 1.5 hours & didn’t leave a lot of time before starting the next feed 🙈 I was constantly exhausted & getting through each day at home was enough for me without thinking about trying to leave the house solo with our 3 little ones. I couldn’t work out the logistics of trying to breastfeed the twins, sort out their naps, plus their older brother’s nap, whilst trying to keep him out of mischief & get to know new people & form connections. And to be honest, the whole idea terrified me & the thought was enough to overwhelm me.

In my experience, it was 10 weeks before I managed a full day at home on my own with all 3, & from there, my only solo outings would be a walk down to our local chemist for the twins weigh-ins with a midwife, or a visit to see family. It wasn’t until the twins were 1 (& 2 weeks) that I had the confidence to manage solo trips to the park, which I was very proud of then (& still am now). Shortly after that, & with the support of my sister-in-law, we then joined a local Playgroup which we all really enjoyed, & which also helped me continue to rebuild my confidence. It got us all out of the house, & gave me the chance to have some adult conversation & to make some new friends, & the kids a chance to play with some new friends too 💛

Putting yourself out there to meet new people & to join a new community isn’t easy. It takes courage, confidence, risk taking, faith, & more.
To those who haven’t yet felt comfortable to join a new group or community, you are not alone. Give it time. If it is something you want to do, then keep trying. Ask for someone to go with you, as you never know who might also be wanting to go but not wanting to go alone.
To those who run the groups & communities, thank you for creating these opportunities for us! Your work is incredible & much needed.
To those who have taken a chance & joined a community, Congratulations! I hope the connections you’re making is providing some extra support for you on your journey 💛

Honour Yourself

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Honour yourself
When you’re feeling low in energy
Ask yourself, what is it you need?
Does your body need rest?
Do you need to take a step back?
Do you need to unplug?
Do you need someone to listen?
Do you need to be held?
Listen to the answers.

Honour yourself
When you’ve put everything in & you’ve come out on top
When you’ve had a win, big or small
When you’ve made it though a difficult day
When you’ve shared openly, been honest, been true to self.
Allow celebration.

Honour yourself
When you’ve got a list of things to achieve,
But things aren’t quite going to plan,
There doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day.
Go easy on yourself.
Take a break to recalibrate, to reprioritise.
Some things can wait.

Honour yourself
When you have a demanding job
& you give it everything you’ve got
When it comes to the days end
You feel you have nothing left to give
You may need some space, some quiet time, something to switch off…
Go right ahead.

Honour yourself
Remember, all that you are
All that you were
All that you are yet to be

Perspective

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This week I’ve been a bit in my head about how present I’ve been with the kids in terms of playtime & outings / activities, versus how much I’ve been trying to get bits done around the house, doing some work on my business, reorganising finances, talking on the phone etc.

I was questioning myself & engaging in a bit of negative self talk, & then this morning I shared how I was feeling with my bestie & my hubby.
It was the best thing I could have done as they both gave me another perspective, & pulled me out of the guilt ridden space that I had created for myself.

This morning I’d forgotten all about the fact that the twins had been sick this week & I couldn’t take them out of the house, or that the kids were all exhausted so they needed some rest time at home, or the things I have played & books I’ve read (albeit not as much as I would normally like), or that I am allowed to have goals, & that it is great that the kids have time to entertain themselves & create their own fun.
Then as I spoke to my bestie & we spoke about what we remember about growing up, & she reminded me of all the things I tell her that we’ve done on the weekends as a family;
& then I spoke to hubby & he reminded me that I do play with the kids & do lots of different things with them & that I am still my own person with things I want to achieve (whether around the house or for the family or for my business); I was able to look at things more clearly & get out of the space I was in.

Now I’m sharing this today to remind us all to never underestimate the power of sharing.
We are never alone.
There is always someone who is going through the same things, or who is willing to listen, or who can give us the pep talk we need & remind us of what we are not hearing over all the fog in our heads.

There is always someone who can help in any situation.
We just have to be willing to open up & to share.

The next time you find yourself stuck in your head, try saying things out loud to your partner, your friends or your family. You might be surprised by how they can support you, & you’ll wish you’d spoken up sooner.

Sending love to all the parents out there & to those who support us xxx