Lost

So you’re feeling a little disconnected,

Like you’ve wandered a little too far from your truth.

Unsure of your journey ahead.

Unsure of your hopes, dreams & passions.

Unsure of your circle.

Do not worry, for you are not alone. There is always someone who has been here before.

And not just once, for this can be a destination for many, on multiple occasions.

I myself have been here.

What do you do when you arrive at this destination?

Do you panic as though you have lost all sense of direction & have forgotten your map?

Possibly leading you further and further from where you intend to be.

Do you resist and stay put out of stubbornness or fear, not moving anywhere?

Or do you accept that this is where you are meant to be in this moment, no matter how brief this stop?

Do you allow yourself to feel the uncertainty?

To feel the disconnection from self?

Can you pause at your destination and look around at your surroundings –

How do they feel?

What feels safe?

As you calm your mind and allow your thoughts to gather

You will remember that there is someone you can call to help you on your way.

Who is that person who you can call on for guidance?

If you allow yourself enough space to breathe deeply, to calm the mind and open the heart, you will remember that you can be that person too.

You will remember that this is all part of the journey

You may be at a crossroads, with a change of destination ahead

You may have taken a detour and need to reconnect to get back on your way

You may have new places to discover or new paths that are opening

You may have needed to lose your way to remember where you wanted to go

Or you may be exactly where you need to be without realising it.

Whatever the journey, accept it.

For acceptance is key to transformation.

Trust it. And trust in yourself.

For if you ask yourself, you will have the answers.


New Chapter

It’s been three months since our new chapter began, with hubby coming home to be with the kids & invest more energy into his business, and I jumped back into a full time role in the corporate space.

Three months of adjusting, three months of working out our new normal, three months of finding our feet (& still counting)…

Three months of me…

Learning a new role, a new company, new people, new systems & processes

Learning how to switch from Mum mode to work mode & back

Learning what it’s like to arrive home each evening at the peak of witching hour(s) & being thrust into the kids nighttime routine before winding down

Learning the importance of the train ride & walks home to support switching modes & resetting

Learning to let go of expectations on getting all the things done, or things being done differently to how I would do them

Learning to deal with the real FOMO that comes from not being available as much for family & friends, or being part of the regular school routine

Learning to share the opportunities

Learning to prioritise even more & learning to let go of the guilt that comes from not being able to get to everyone or everything

Learning to appreciate the weekends in a new way

Learning how to keep my passions (quality family time, & my creating & sharing through my business) alive, & to keep those promises to myself that I wouldn’t let those passions slip…

And whilst I can’t & won’t speak entirely on hubby’s behalf –

Three months of him…

Learning a new role & new processes in the same house, with the same little people (for a whole lot more time), with less other people

Learning what it’s like to be a stay at home Dad, juggling 3 kids & their needs, whilst running a business

Learning what it’s like to eagerly wait the arrival of that second pair of hands

Learning of the special bond that deepens

Learning to let go of expectations to get all the things done whilst having little ones as your number 1 priority

Learning how quickly plans can change, & how to steal little bits of time where you can

Learning to prioritise in a new way, with new activities and responsibilities

Two roles

Equally as important

Equally as new

Equally as many challenges

Equally as many milestones

Equally offering a new perspective on the other

All of our triumphs & challenges to date have set us on this path & brought us to where we are today, & I am so grateful for this new chapter, however short or long it lasts, & for what we are both learning, & equally as important, for what our children our learning too

We have a new found appreciation & respect for the roles we held before & for the roles we each hold now. We both understand & have experienced the challenges of each role, & we have both experienced the joys that come with each role.

Never under estimate the opportunity to see another perspective

To embrace a new experience

And to go where the universe is guiding you 💛


Mum Friends

Motherhood changes friendships.

Whilst there can be a lot of emphasis on finding our tribe & connections with our mum friends, the reality is that motherhood can both strengthen and create new friendships, and create distance and cause friendships to end.

Motherhood really tests our friendships.

It tests for strength, compromise, compassion, trust, support, patience, quality, honesty, understanding, objectivity, love, resilience, loyalty, equality, heart, soul, & more.

Motherhood creates barriers.

Barriers of sleep deprivation, rollercoaster hormones, isolation, overwhelm, judgement, expectations, time, presence, parenting styles and choices, comparison, exhaustion, loss of identity, etc… All of which can affect our friendships.

Motherhood creates opportunities.

The opportunity to connect with our friends on a deeper level when we trust & share openly,

to let go of some friendships,

to rekindle old friendships,

to create new friendships,

to bond over something entirely new,

to learn a new approach or a new way of looking at things,

to reassess priorities,

to make changes.

As mothers (and fathers), we are changed from the moment we are blessed with the title.

We are different.

So, how can we expect everything else to remain the same?

It is not unusual for our relationships to be affected.

How can they not be when we are not the same?

When we are navigating our way through all the changes & the ups & downs of parenthood,

rediscovering ourselves & trying to find our new ‘normal’ when the goal posts keep changing with each milestone or each precious addition to the family, not to mention other pressures of work, finances, health, etc.

We are not alone when a friendship is tested, or lost.

We are not alone when we feel like we don’t have a ‘tribe’.

We are not alone when we feel like we no longer fit in with our circle.

We are not alone when we find it difficult to make new friends.

Motherhood changes our friendships, but it also creates many opportunities.

We can decide what we need.

We can decide what our priorities are.

We can decide when it’s time to make changes.

We can decide how we are going to show up.

We can decide what we are worthy of.

And only we can make the changes that are right for us.

Here’s to our mum friends (including our wonderful friends without their own children)

To our friendships that have weathered the storms,

To our friendships that have taught us a lot,

To our new friendships just beginning,

To our friendships yet to be sparked 💛


With the flow

The irony behind this post is that every time I started to write it I was interrupted & it took multiple attempts to get in the flow of writing it 🙊

Rather than fight it, I laughed at the irony & how it was further highlighting that life isn’t always smooth sailing, that we can’t control what will come up for us, but we can control how we choose to react.

Rather than fighting the interruptions, I chose to accept that my post just didn’t need to be written in that moment (or 5 moments) & that it could wait. Just like that, I was choosing to go with the flow, rather than push when I didn’t need to push, which is something that we are challenged with so often.

When asked recently how I manage being a work at home Mum with the kids, & after really reflecting on what I do, I realised that I generally go with the flow. I try not to force or plan my work too much (besides my client appts & workshop schedule) so that I’m not getting frustrated or flustered when things aren’t going according to my work plan while I have the kids at home, and I am operating from a feeling of flow rather than force. If the kids all nap then I make a decision on how I will use the time I have, or if the twins are entertaining each other then I will choose some things to do while they are playing, etc. I do what works for me in the time that I have, and I absolutely love what I do & the opportunity that I have to work flexibly. I have learnt that things like painting while the kids nap does not always work for me as I want to continue when they wake, & end up feeling like I’m fighting to do my painting which is not how I want it to be, so I wait until the nights or when hubby is home.

Becoming a mother quickly showed me just how little control we have over things, & I am continually being reminded of this each day. Whether it’s kids choosing not to sleep when we want them to, or sleeping longer when we don’t want them to, or needing to use the bathroom just as we’re rushing out the door, or unfortunately falling ill etc, they’re teaching us that things don’t always go to plan. We can do our best to make plans and to get organised, but we can’t control the actions or reactions of others, especially our little ones, we can only control how we choose to act & react.

Over the years I’ve learnt how much better it feels to go with the flow (with my experiences of the opposite, that still occur) with many a pyjama day had at home to avoid forcing when I didn’t feel it called for it. I’ve learnt how good it feels to stop forcing things that aren’t in alignment such as work, relationships, expectations, etc, all while still being a work in progress. There are still times that I will find myself forcing rather than flowing, and times when I feel like I am swimming against the current, but rather than continuing to push & force, I find myself questioning & making adjustments when I can.

When was the last time you felt like you were going with the flow, rather than swimming up stream, or against the current?

When you were at ease and trusting, not pushing or forcing?

What is something that you feel is out of alignment and that you are fighting against?

What adjustments can you make? 💛


The Rock

You are the rock,
Solid and stable
You are the rock,
Strong and able
You are the rock,
Brave and bold
You are the rock,
Power you hold

But should you be left unprotected for long,
Is there not a chance, you will get weathered and worn?

How are you preserving yourself?
What protection mechanisms do you have in place?

If you’re like me, and you are the rock in your family, and your relationship, and your work, or one of these or any other area of your life, this is your reminder that you still need protection. You still need some sheltering or nurturing, for too much weathering of storms can lead to erosion.

How are you looking after yourself to prevent the wearing out or burning out that comes with being the rock in all aspect of your life for a long period of time?
Is that how you really want to show up?
Who can you or do you turn to for protection? For the occasional sheltering from the elements?

We can only be the rock for so long.
It is not failing to ask for help or support,
To need a break from being the rock all the time.
Taking time to nurture yourself, will only empower you to stand stronger and to weather the storms when those time arise.

How can you or do you create some space for yourself to have that much needed reprieve?

I’d love to know if this resonates with you 💛


Getting out with twins

A big part of the Multiple Birth Awareness Week theme for this year around ‘Sharing the Journey’, is about joining a community or group to build a support network. personally, is something that I found quite difficult to do with a 2yo & newborn twins initially, & so I want to share a bit of my story in support of others who may be feeling the same.

In those first few months, I spent a large chunk of my time on the lounge (or in bed at night) feeding the twins. A process which took at least 1.5 hours & didn’t leave a lot of time before starting the next feed 🙈 I was constantly exhausted & getting through each day at home was enough for me without thinking about trying to leave the house solo with our 3 little ones. I couldn’t work out the logistics of trying to breastfeed the twins, sort out their naps, plus their older brother’s nap, whilst trying to keep him out of mischief & get to know new people & form connections. And to be honest, the whole idea terrified me & the thought was enough to overwhelm me.

In my experience, it was 10 weeks before I managed a full day at home on my own with all 3, & from there, my only solo outings would be a walk down to our local chemist for the twins weigh-ins with a midwife, or a visit to see family. It wasn’t until the twins were 1 (& 2 weeks) that I had the confidence to manage solo trips to the park, which I was very proud of then (& still am now). Shortly after that, & with the support of my sister-in-law, we then joined a local Playgroup which we all really enjoyed, & which also helped me continue to rebuild my confidence. It got us all out of the house, & gave me the chance to have some adult conversation & to make some new friends, & the kids a chance to play with some new friends too 💛

Putting yourself out there to meet new people & to join a new community isn’t easy. It takes courage, confidence, risk taking, faith, & more.
To those who haven’t yet felt comfortable to join a new group or community, you are not alone. Give it time. If it is something you want to do, then keep trying. Ask for someone to go with you, as you never know who might also be wanting to go but not wanting to go alone.
To those who run the groups & communities, thank you for creating these opportunities for us! Your work is incredible & much needed.
To those who have taken a chance & joined a community, Congratulations! I hope the connections you’re making is providing some extra support for you on your journey 💛