A note for the times we may find ourselves getting defensive or when someone may have rubbed us up the wrong way (which could be timely for those get-togethers that took place over the Christmas break 🙈)…

We get defensive when there are emotions involved. When there is past hurt, anger, sadness, jealousy, etc that has not yet been dealt with or healed.

The feelings do not have to be directly connected with that person, rather they are just ‘poking the beast’ & bringing out unhealed parts of ourselves.

It can help to explore the situations as they arise, either with someone or on our own (ie. in a journal) so that we can really delve into the depths of the feelings that are being evoked. In doing so, we are also adding in a pause (where possible) before we respond, so that we can respond in a more logical & rational way, having thought through our emotional reactions, rather than responding in a way we do not wish to.

Perhaps there is more to the situation.

Something that we need more information on, or something we are misinterpreting as our ‘issue’ when it could be something in the other person that we are picking up on, something that they are feeling & perhaps not sure how to express or are expressing in a way they are not intending.

There are so many different ways to interpret things. The key is to give some thought as to how & why we might be reacting in a certain way, to remember that the emotions may not be connected with the person or thing that is triggering them, & that the way we are responding generally has a whole lot more to do with us & the way we are experiencing things, rather than how others are intending things to be interpreted.

If we depersonalise situations, it can really help with working through & healing the underlying emotions that are arising.

All is well when we breathe, reflect & adjust as needed 💛

By Simone Parker @embarkedwithsimone

Written 12/11/2018